I have this weird idea looming in my head for quite some time now: I want to go to a Vipassana Kendra. The kendras (read centres) are located all over India where they hold meditation camps. The camps are like a boot camp minus the exercise. Yet it is arduous. One has to get up at 4 and meditate for 10 hours in a day (with breaks in between). Or something to that effect.
Yet it is not the meditation that bothers me, but the fact that for 10 days you are not supposed to interact with anybody around you. You don’t speak to anybody but the administration or teachers and that too only when you have a query! When I told S, he quipped, “You sure will have lot of queries”. Yes, I suppose I would. Also, I have never ever (and I mean ever) got up at 4 in the morning. The satvik ahaar will kill me though it will guarantee that I lose the extra kilos that I have been intending to lose.
But all these are secondary. The main problem is that I just can’t keep my mind still. I have been trying to meditate at home every morning. I do not get up at 4 but 6 works just as fine I guess. I get songs in my head (No, not the Himalayan-Chants-kind-of-songs but headbanging ones). Today, for example, I got Highway to Hell by AC/DC. My mind is supposed to be empty but it never is. I remember things that I was supposed to do but never did, people I was supposed to call but never did, pieces I wanted to do but never did and so on. I have to fight the urge to get up and do those things. But by the time I finish my meditation, I forget everything. Only to curse myself the next day for being so careless!
All I want is a little peace and calm. Meditation is supposed to give me that. Maybe it requires me to take a drastic step. But isn’t going to the Vipassana Kendra a bit too drastic?
